Today, I’m feeling a bit guilty and sad with myself. First, I have gained two kilograms. Second, I’m not taking care of my body and sleep routine. Third, I’m not doing anything to improve myself. Fourth, I get irritated easily maybe due to my pre-period phase. I wanted to escape from this reality of being adult. Sometimes, I wanted to run. Why am I doing this? Nufffff.

So many things I wanted to do. Travel. Dance. Cook. Bake. Clean my room. Exercise. Plank. Rent a bike, then walk around the park. Eat more of vegetables and fruit. Read a book. Start my journal. Draw. Find motivation to start on my review for IELTS. Learn more of Arabic words. Watch a movie. Arrange my files on my phone. Reaching out more with my colleagues and roommates. Pamper myself. Sleep early. And the list go on and on. Huh. But I keep on restraining myself  maybe because of my self-doubt, laziness, and the lack of freedom from this country that I’m staying at. Deep sigh. As much as possible, I don’t want to mingle and worry on what other’s doing at this moment. I don’t want to be that clingy friend, too. But sometimes, I wonder if I ever crossed their minds these days? How often do they think and remember me? I miss my close friends. I miss those times that whenever I don’t want to go home straight to our house, I would go and stay with my friend’s house. Just to watch a movie, eat, and chat anything under the sun. 

Let’s not overthink much again, self. Breath and Calm your soul! Thank God for this another benign evening shift! I’m still on duty while blogging, I know this ain’t right, haha! but there’s nothing to do, patients were all stable, and visiting time or Siara time was about to end. Census/staff ratio now was 11:4! Thank God it’s Friday!

Goodnight, and have a nice weekend!